Happy New Year, friends! I am coming back from almost three weeks off where I did nothing notable. I didn’t write this newsletter, I didn’t go on any epic adventures, I didn’t get big house or life projects done. I went on a lot of walks, read, cooked, painted, spent time with my family, and went swimming in Bellingham Bay several times. At the darkest time of year, it felt very nourishing to give into the whole thing. As my dad says, “If you can’t get out of it, get into it!”

Each year, I usually do some sort of re-cap on how many books I read, favorites, etc. I don’t have the data-gathering energy this year so I’m just going to share a few that made the biggest impact on me and give my yearly reading entreaty. To see me utterly repeat myself, you can find entreaties to read here and here.

This year, I noticed my attention span waning, and this makes me nervous. I had less interest in novels (famously, harder to read than non-fiction for many people), less interest in books dense with references or research, more compulsion to skip to the punchline. I attribute this to two things. First, big tech, corporations, and literally everyone is being paid to steal my attention, and I fall prey to this just like anyone. I’m determined to keep resisting this. (See Johan Hari’s Stolen Focus for more motivation on this.) Secondly, at age 50, I know almost immediately when a book isn’t going to do it for me. I don’t trust the author, their style doesn’t move me, the subject doesn’t interest me, or it’s not the right time in life to read it. I’m learning to trust this and move on to the next book. And I encourage you to do the same. There are so many wonderful things to read, and we are allowed to be discerning!

I have realized that the act of reading a book, no matter what it is, usually slows me down, and this is what I need. The content, though it might inform or delight, is almost secondary to the ritual of paying attention. I can’t overstate how much I need this, and how we all need this.

And, as always, shout out to Village Books in Bellingham where my best reads originate. To me, there is just nothing better than an hour by myself to peruse staff picks and see what calls to me.

Here are a few that did it for me in 2024:

  • Dopamine Nation, Anna Lembke, MD. I have referred to this book constantly since reading it. Too much pleasure causes us pain, and we can reset this balance through abstinence from addictive behaviors and substances and incorporating challenge into our lives.
  • Die with Zero, Bill Perkins. Give your money away while you’re alive. After paying bills and taking care of loved ones, spend the rest on EXPERIENCES, as those memories are the only things that last. Absolutely loved this perspective and it’s changing many of my patterns already.
  • What Happened to You? Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey. I’m late to the game on this. I thought I understood childhood trauma, but I didn’t. Dr. Perry’s stories are amazing and have given me a lot of insight into friends and clients.
  • Meditations for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman. I loved Oliver’s 4000 Weeks, and this was a sequel. I started a little text-a-day micro book club with colleagues also reading this book, and we all learned so much. Slow down, value what you’re already doing, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to make the most of out of life. A good counterpart to “Die with Zero.”
  • From Strength to Strength, Arthur Brooks. Yes, another book on midlife! The part that sticks with me the most is when he tells a story about fishing the tides. It’s tempting to think not much is happening when the tide is going out. (Metaphor here, of course, is the tide going out in our lives/aging.) But the biggest mistake you can make while fishing in the tide? Not having your line in the water. That’s when everything is stirred up. I’m getting my line in the water!
  • All Fours, Miranda July. Yes, of course I read this! Right before a weekend with 10 other middle-aged women who had also read it. So heavenly to discuss it together, whether we liked it or not.
  • The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Frances Weller. I’ve become convinced that all of us need grief rituals in our lives, even if it seems our losses aren’t as extreme as someone else’s. We can get through grief and loss if those things are acknowledged and held in community. Frances’ stories of the retreats he facilitates are inspiring and opened something up in me.

I guess I was drawn to pretty heavy things in 2024! That’s another thing I allow myself—to like what I like. If what you like is romance novels, read those! If what you like is graphic novels, mysteries, or self-help books, read those! Again, the content is almost less important than getting off your screen. (Listen to Maryanne Wolf and Ezra Klein talk about your brain on deep reading if you need more convincing. Amazing.)

Happy Reading in 2025, friends!