I went to physical therapy this week (this seems to be what our 50’s are about?!) and was adjacent to an interaction that I keep thinking about.
The practitioner who worked with me was a PT student (let’s call him Will), and his evaluator, the licensed PT (let’s call him Chris), sat a short distance away, making notes on his laptop, smiling at us, and occasionally stepping in to ask a question or give light direction. At one point, Chris called Will by a nickname and the energy between them was trusting, professional, and even brotherly. It was pleasure to be around. Since I have a habit (Superpower? Downfall?) of pulling life lessons out of even the smallest interactions, here are a few of my takeaways:
Trust and Verify. Chris obviously trusted Will’s skills and had trained him well. But he was hovering at the edges to verify. This is a powerful leadership style, and one that’s very hard to pull off. My wonderful assistant Robin will tell you that I have very high trust in her, but the verify part? I struggle with that. Sometimes, this just means she has a lot of freedom and latitude. Other times, it means she doesn’t feel seen, I don’t know what I want until I see her do it the “wrong” way, and it costs us time and energy.
Good Relationships are Healing. Will gave me exercises to do at home, and I’m hoping that will resolve my tight hip. But the energy between them was also part of my healing experience. When we moved to Bellingham and we were touring neighborhoods and elementary schools, I developed a 6th sense for which schools had happy, connected teachers and staff. And it wasn’t that I was strenuously interviewing the principal. It was something I felt. I often quote Jill Bolte-Taylor and her insights after having a stroke. She couldn’t process language, but she could immediately pick up on the energy of people interacting with her in her hospital room. She reminds us, “You are responsible for your emotional wake.” Good relationships are healing. Bitter, mistrusting ones make us rigid and septic. And both energies can be communicated quickly and wordlessly.
Bodies in the Same Place makes for Good Teaching. Virtual learning is here to stay, and a lot can be accomplished that way. But it tends to prefer just one center of intelligence—our head! We also have hearts and bodies. The teaching relationship between Chris and Will was obviously not one of downloading information. It was one of practice, of embodiment. It made me thankful for all the teachers I’ve had in my life who took seriously their callings to mentor, equip, encourage, demonstrate and yes, love. Some of you are reading this right now. Thank you.
The cycle of giving and receiving is one of the most trustworthy dynamics in life. Who needs the gifts you have? Who is ready to give something to you? You make the web of life stronger by being willing to receive. All of us are both teachers and students, and our openness to that exchange changes everything. It’s a respiratory practice—inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale—keeping us alive. May you find places to give and receive this week.