I have lived in my house for 11 years and never liked our living room.

With an awkward space, ill-fitting furniture, pets, and my underdeveloped design sense, it just never felt cozy or inviting to me. And I felt stumped about how to improve it without spending a lot of money.

Enter Jordan. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, and she’s the one I turn to for all things design. She has been designing spaces and experiences in various ways her whole life, and her off-the-cuff noticings are always spot-on. She came up from Seattle for the weekend and we made drawings, took things down, strategized. Her expertise is amazing, but even more than that, I borrowed her energy. She had more energy for my problem than I did, and that’s just what I needed. After talking about furniture choices all day, she did even more sleuthing from her laptop in bed, telling me over coffee the next morning about her new recommendations.

I was sick of looking at my living room and coming up totally empty. I suppose one solution could have been for me to take a design class or watch some videos. But, as my friend Elizabeth says, it’s not what or how, but WHO. Who can help me with this? Who has done this a million times? Or who loves me so much that they’d sit here and scratch their head with me?

I experienced the same kind energy loan when I hired Emily to manage my new website build, or when my assistant Robin has superior ideas for how to get work done.  I suppose I could figure it out on my own, but then I’d be missing out. I’d be missing out on the joy of collaboration, getting to see someone else in their genius, and the sweetness that comes from asking for help.

Maybe you want to:

  • Write more or publish your writing
  • Start sewing, swimming, cooking, biking, or learning another language
  • Find more fulfilling work
  • Make some new friends
  • Heal your relationship with food
  • Get outside more
  • Go back to school
  • Put yourself forward for a promotion

Consider borrowing some energy.

If those things were easy, you would have done them already. It’s tempting to think that unlimited time and money would pave the way for us. (Those things help, and I wish all of us had them in equitable abundance.) But can’t we all think of people who have plenty of time and money, but their inner pilot light isn’t on? They are not engaged with their own lives and with the world around them. They are going it alone or scared to be vulnerable and ask for help. Or nervous about what will be required of them if they actually articulate what they want. They might consider borrowing some energy.

What do you want? Why is it important to you? Who could help you make some progress? (I know someone who really likes to make energy loans—let me know if you want to talk.)

P.S. The day after doing countless internet searches for “swivel chair,” I found this little vintage guy by the side of the road. Free. In perfect condition. Maybe this has happened to you, too—once you ride the wave of overwhelm and get started, the way opens.