I have been so fortified by the stories being shared on our 40 Days of Generosity WhatsApp thread that some of you joined. As we have gone through our days looking for ways to be generous, by far the biggest theme that has emerged is what happens when we are paying attention. 

A few of the stories shared: 

  • Overhearing in yoga class that someone’s spouse is in hospice and approaching them to say, “I’m so sorry.” 
  • With young children, at a hotel pool to visit relatives, getting them back out to the car, and hotel workers offering pizza to the children and the mother stopping to let them partake. (Notice the gift of TIME given here) 
  • Snail mail to say, “I love you,” “Thank you,“ or “I’m sorry.” 
  • Many instances of standing in line or being in public places and very deliberately not pulling out a phone. 
  • Directly and specifically thanking a physical therapist, yoga studio owner, or receptionist at the doctor’s office for their care and attention. 
  • Blowing a kiss to a road rager! 
  • Telling the person singing behind you in church that they have a beautiful voice. 

 Psychologist Albert Ellis tells us that when something negative happens, we usually ignore the many positives that surround it. And we don’t just focus on the negative, we “awfulize” and catastrophize it. Yes, of course, we need to live in reality and acknowledge suffering. But part of reality is also birdsong, sunrises and sunsets, many small tender moments between people all the time, the unexpected 30 minutes that opens up in our day, the miracle that the car starts, the plane lands, the water flows from the tap. 

In a wonderful little micro book club I have with a couple friends, we were discussing yesterday the question, “What are the portals into mystery?” There are so many. Meditation, psilocybin, sex, deep conversation, silence, nature, art, gardening, prayer, exercise. But top of mind for me is what is happening around me. The eye doctor doing her careful work. My dog next to me on the couch. My friends gathering on the beach on Sunday mornings and our immersion in cold water.   

I keep talking about this idea that we don’t have to look for things to respond to. We just get to notice what crosses our path. The better our noticing skills, the more opportunities there are for response, interaction, and generativity. A misuse of noticing skills, of course, is something like voyeurism, where we’re noticing to plot, extract, or harm. I’m talking about a kind of noticing that’s a constant invitation to join the dance of life, to participate with all other living beings in reality, to give and receive love. 

I leave you with a (slightly edited) Celtic prayer from John Philip Newell: 

Bless to me this day my body and my soul. Bless to me each thing my eye sees, each sound my ear hears. Bless to me each scent that goes to my nostrils, each taste that goes to my lips, each ray that guides my way.