Hello friends!

I have a proposal for you: as 2023 begins, can you slip away for a little bit? Can you find a quiet place and a quiet few hours to discover again who you are and what’s important to you?

If at all possible, can it be outside your house? Maybe a friend’s living room while they are at work, maybe a day spa, maybe a beach with a very warm jacket and a mug of tea, maybe a cozy corner at the library? Wonderful as your home may be, sometimes it signifies work. Or distraction. That pile of laundry, that stack of dishes.

Can you find a basket and gather some supplies? I always bring too much, but it’s nice to have options. Simple, healthy snacks. A thermos of tea, water. Journal, pens, watercolors, stationary, coloring book. A book I’m reading, another one I want to re-read (usually poems or meditations), maybe a deck of Tarot or oracle cards. If you play the guitar or other portable instrument, bring that!

You might be a little nervous that, once quiet, you’ll be bored with yourself. Or the opposite—you’ll encounter a cacophony of worry or urgency. Maybe. If this feels like a risk, it is.

Begin with a few minutes of quiet, settling in, noticing your breath, thanking the universe that you are alive, sending lovingkindness toward yourself and your survival. Cultivate a stance of receptivity, an opening of the heart. After that, a next step will graciously show itself, especially if you bring this little menu with you. It might look like:

  • Reading last year’s journal or snippets from other books you brought
  • Writing a letter to someone you’d like to appreciate
  • Writing a letter to be opened by you in a year
  • Letting your pen move across paper—journal or otherwise—and just seeing what comes up—zero pressure to be eloquent or even comprehensible
  • More quiet
  • Singing, humming, or playing a favorite song
  • Painting or coloring
  • Dancing or walking
  • Making a list of people in your life in the last year to see you are not alone
  • Making a “ta-da!” list of important and unimportant actions you’ve taken in the last week or quarter or year—sometimes I write things down like, “fed the dog every morning” or “watered my plants.” We can really get stuck in thinking we are not doing enough, and the data says otherwise.
  • Sitting with an eminent decision or life change—maybe just being quiet, or maybe making some pros and cons lists
  • Doing something like this Wheel of Life exercise, which I do every year. I customize my categories, adding things like creativity, spirituality, service
  • Some combination of all the above, as your heart leads you

If we don’t make time to hear ourselves, it’s pretty hard to experience the kind of joy, connection, and meaning we are here to experience. We are born to flourish. There are whole industries completely devoted to getting us to tune out and buy what they are selling—it’s a full-time job to resist them and become ourselves.

I asked last week, “What are your dreams right now, big or little?” You said:

  • I want to keep putting myself out there to find love and intimacy
  • To increasingly learn to live in the tension of already, not yet– I have enough, now, to be content, joyful, at peace; but I hope for the new in the coming year. A new home to live in, a new job to lean into, new travels with my best people, deeper ties with my community, being able to accept reality more quickly, a deeper sense of gratitude.
  • Not getting so easily caught up in what needs to be done—having more fun!
  • Not paying too close attention to the “experts” who generically recommend setting goals or not setting them, but to take steps to facilitate personal growth and happiness in whatever manner seems the most authentic
  • I dream of sunshine and summer and movement I enjoy
  • The word HERE. That is what kept coming to me on my solo retreat this fall. Here in this moment. Here in my body. Here with my kids while they’re still kids. Here in whatever life brings each day.
  • I’m praying to have the courage to live this year as if it were my last.  If I end up having another, think how grateful I will be.

How beautiful! May it all be so, and may your own voice guide you every step of the way.

P.S. If you want to take a longer retreat this year and you have the resources to do it, download my free resource on planning a solo retreat here.