It’s incredibly easy to complain about the decisions other people make, especially people with positional power over us. 

True, some of those decisions are short-sighted, morally wrong, or even disastrous, and some people enjoy wielding power. But after working with EDs, CEOs, business owners and managers for 20 years, I’ve seen the integrity, discernment, and sleepless nights that accompany so many decisions, and I’m more inclined to give these folks a break. There are so many variables and unknowns, so many competing values in tension all the time. Should I choose the decision that preserves stability, or the one that embraces innovation? Should I fire the person who’s been under-performing for six months, or give them another chance? Should we add more positions to the leadership team, or keep it small and efficient? 

In my personal life, I have so much appreciation for people who aren’t nervous to make decisions. “I’m going to the gym—want to join me at 7am?” is far preferable to, “Want to go the gym together sometime?” Their clarity and risk make my participation more likely. Their decision sets the stage for something to happen and gets us out of a 3-week calendaring quicksand. 

Whether you’re the one making decisions or living with the results of someone else’s decisions in group life, here are a few principles to keep in mind: 

  • Experimentation is better than a grand opening. Much better to try some things out and be explicit about the fact you’re doing so than labor in secret for months, only to unveil something that was doomed from the start. Make a series of small, participatory decisions and discern together as they unfold. 
  • Instead of complaining, give feedback and observations about outcomes. Just because a decision has been made doesn’t mean it’s too late to learn from it. In fact, it’s the opposite! Ask for some time with the decision-maker and share what you’re learning or noticing as a result of the decision that was made. They may not change anything, but it’s learning for everyone. 
  • The more people a decision affects, the slower and more participatory the process should be. In teaching a client about participatory decision-making early on in my consulting career, one CEO asked for individual meetings with each of his direct reports to ask them what restaurant the Christmas party should be at. A definite misuse of everyone’s time and energy! This is a decision he should have made himself or with one or two others and spent his time getting input about things that really mattered to his employees. 
  • “Decide and Tell” decisions are useful and necessary. In emergencies or in rapidly changing markets. In situations where the stakes are low (see above). If every decision is participatory, groups lose momentum and efficacy. 
  • Practice empathy. There’s a local leader in my orbit who everyone loves to bash. I may not agree with every decision he’s made, but I often find myself saying, “What do you think a day in his life is like? Do you think you could do it better?” I know he is faced with dozens of high-stakes decisions per day, and that he truly wants what will contribute to the well-being of his constituents. But (as with all leaders) his job is to do what is best for the whole. We often fail to understand this. 
  • Get clear on how a decision is going to be made. Will it be consensus? Decide and tell? A vote? I find that people don’t mind not being included if they weren’t led to think they would be!  

 If you are making decisions on behalf of a whole, thank you. I see you, and I know it’s hard. If you’d like more decision-making authority in your workplace, try practicing some of the above and see how it improves your chances.