One of the things I’ve been preaching to clients for years is, “Don’t wait until a funeral or retirement party to talk about why you like someone.” And then I make them share out loud, around the conference table, appreciations for their colleagues. They roll their eyes and squirm, and then draft off it for weeks. I tell them it doesn’t have to be grandiose, just heartfelt and specific: Thank you for staying late last week to help me finish that proposal. It meant a lot to me. Or When I’m around you, I somehow feel more positive about myself and life. 

I’ve been having a rough few weeks—the kind where I should be reaching out to say so, but that’s been especially hard. Somehow, as often happens, the universe has been keeping track, and my inbox, mailbox, and phone have filled up with unexpected messages of appreciation. Just in the last few days, I’ve received:  

  • A gift and love note from my business partner 
  • A detailed, tender thank-you from a leader who shared that my work with his team had been part of his healing 
  • Two gift cards in the mail from two different clients, thanking me for helping them through tough times 
  • Two texts from clients saying, “Please keep doing what you do” 
  • A watercolor card from a friend who thanked me for inspiring her to get out her paints

Each one moved me. Like you, I imagine, I often feel lonely or ineffective. I sometimes wake up and don’t want to go to work or meet my responsibilities. I suffer profoundly from feeling as if I should be doing more. I sense our mortality acutely and wonder, “How does anyone do anything in the face of death?!”  

 Receiving these appreciative tidbits has reminded me how much power we have to spread love in our orbits. I might say I don’t do it to get something back, but that’s not true! I need the love back! I’m not keeping track, of course. In fact, that’s something I’m particularly good at. I truly do forget about the mail I’ve sent, gifts I’ve given, or emergency phone calls I’ve squeezed in. But I really do need whatever flows back my way. I’m human, and I am learning that the energy of receptivity is just as important as the energy of giving. They can’t exist without one another. 

 You’ve got one week until I send this newsletter again. Between now and then, thank or appreciate someone who isn’t expecting it. Heartfelt, specific. Does not have to be a grand gesture, though I won’t talk you out of that. If you do it, drop me a line to tell me about it. It will make my day.